There are a lot of bad habits that singles fall into, and if you’re guilty of one or two of them, recognizing it and nipping it in the bud may be the key to opening up doors to longer lasting, quality relationships. If you’re still single here are a few things to watch out for that could be holding you back.
1. You’re single because you’re picky. Pick away girl friend, you can be as picky as you want because if you’re going to be spending the rest of your life with someone you sure as hell don’t want to hate the way he lives most of his daily life just because you don’t want to be single. If the way he eats annoys the shit out of you, say ‘see ya!’ because you don’t want to live with that the rest of your life.
2. You’re single because you don’t like anyone who likes you. There might be someone who does like you, who thinks you’re the center of their universe and he can’t imagine his life without you. But you only imagine your life without him because you have no interest in him. Nothing wrong with that either because it’s basically a known fact by now, but you can’t force feelings.
3. You’re single because you’re selfish. You don’t give a damn about being in a relationship. To you the world is yours and the more options and freedom the better. You don’t need love to make you happy; you’re doing just fine on your own.
4. You’re trying too hard
Trying too hard can manifest itself in lots of ways, shapes, and forms—from being too eager, to working too hard to impress someone, or to simply over-texting. But a good way to tell if you’re trying too hard is to take stock of your anxiety levels as you’re seeing someone new. People who are overly nervous about the success of a relationship tend to act in overeager ways, which can put a lot of unintentional pressure on your counterpart and cause them to take a step back.
5. You’re looking in the wrong places.
If you’re only attracted to beefy hunks, pick up all your dates at the gym, and then get disappointed when all they care about are protein and gains, you need to broaden your horizons. If you only ever go out at a certain bar, and the clientele there tends to be high rollers and you can only afford to hang with them for a week, Yelp a place that’s under three dollar signs and explore. Mixing it up isn’t guaranteed to be fruitful, but if you’re in a rut when it comes to your usual dating habits, break them!
6. You’re unavailable.
When it comes down to it, dating takes time and effort. If you’re focused on your career, love traveling as much as you can, prefer to spend your free time on your hobbies, or let your friends monopolize your social life, connecting with someone new could be difficult. It may be as simple as finding someone who already exists where the components of your life intersect. But if you have trouble meeting people in your day-to-day life and you wonder why the few dates you’ve been on fall to the wayside, it may be worth asking yourself how much attention you’re actually investing in the dating game, and whether you can step it up a notch.
7. Your expectations are too high.
While you should never settle for less than you deserve, it’s important to concede that everyone is human, and mistakes and missteps are unavoidable, especially as two people are starting to get to know each other. If you find yourself lusting after Nicholas Sparks characters, but are perpetually disappointed in your real life dating options because they don’t know how to ride a horse, or paint, or have Ryan Gosling’s face, you may just need a reality check.
8. Your expectations are too low.
Just like having too-high expectations can cause you to pull the plug prematurely, having too-low expectations can cause you not to try at all. If you write off everyone you meet as a heartbreaker, you may be afraid to put yourself out there. If you find yourself saying, “They’re great, but they’ll never be interested in me,” then you need to find ways to boost your self-esteem. Either way, working up the bravery to try and maybe fail is much easier said than done, but it’s totally necessary.
9. You can’t stop thinking about __________. Holding on to nasty feelings about your former flame will stop you from moving on with life. If you have emotional baggage left over from a previous relationship, let it go before jumping into a new one. Or maybe you still feel love for a person who doesn’t return the favor.
10. You don’t know what you want. Your standards for what makes a person an “excellent” match will change as you mature. There could be times where you’re just plain confused about what you want in a partner, and that’s okay. It could help to go on a date with a few different types of people; you’ll come out with a general idea of what traits attract you to a person and be better able to choose a partner you can be happy with.